One More Time, Real Slow....

       Recently I was sitting with a friend of mine over coffee at Starbucks.  Let me tell you, I love Starbucks. I didn't always love it but I do now and I'll tell you why.  There is a certain magic to the wait at this overpriced coffee bar.

     You walk in, you wait in line, you give your overly complicated order, they repeat your overly complicated order, they write your overly complicated order on your cup and then they hand the cup off to the barrista who will hopefully make the drink correctly and then call out your overly complicated order to you so you can pick it up and enjoy at your leisure.

     Important point, I have never seen anyone, anyone drink a Starbucks coffee, hot or cold quickly.  There is something about drinking an overpriced drink slowly.  Somehow you make yourself believe that you are getting more value.  You aren't, but because of the trendy atmosphere, the cool music, the hip location in the bookstore, next to the bookstore, around the corner from the bookstore; yeah, you get the idea.

     By the way, you can get the same cup of coffee at McDonalds or even at 7Eleven  - unless you mind being hit up for change by a guy or girl or something in between standing outside a small convenience market with a filthy entrance where people seem to just have to spit on the ground before they go into the store.  Why that is, I have no clue, but they do it.  In fact, I've done it.  And yes, I will do it again.  Not so much at McDonalds but then again, there is a big difference between the two franchises.  McDonalds is All American, 7Eleven, not so much.   In fact, I've been in 7Eleven a few times during a shift change when I swear to God there was a meeting going on about how to overthrow the U.S.  I can even recount the number of times I've gone in and the guy behind the counter  - who thinks that using deodorant is tantamount to drinking toilet water from a toilet he has just used- refuses to touch my hand when he gives me my change.  I swear, one time, this scumbag actually dropped the change into my hand from a distance of at least eighteen inches and then looked at me as if I was a leper.  Half the time, I can't even get my own change into my own pocket without dropping most of it on the ground, how did this Son of Bitch do it from a foot and half away?  Yes, I wrote Son of Bitch, say it out loud, it's pretty funny.  I almost threw my change back at him but I needed the .95c for a McRib at McDonalds which was my next stop.

     So, why can you get the same cup of coffee at McDonalds or 7Eleven that you get at Starbucks only cheaper?  Here's why, because you are not, listen to this, you are NOT the coffee connoisseur that you think you are.  You're just another guy or girl who wants a hot, steaming cup of coffee, black or maybe with a little sugar or cream to wake you up and get you through your morning.  The rest is all bullshit, unless you want the experience of coffee, for that you have to go to Starbucks.  Starbucks.  Not Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, not some trendy little spot; but Starbucks.

      So, my friend and I are sitting across from one another in a couple of sweet wooden chairs and a beautiful wooden table which sat on a very clean floor which was splattered with sunlight from an extremely clean front window.  Clean.  I mean, clean.  We were having a very deep conversation about some very important issues that I would not have felt comfortable having at either McDonalds or 7Eleven.  I tried it once and it didn't work out to well.  I was talking to an intern about a project we were working on while he stood in front of a rotisserie that was rolling what looked to be little goat dicks back and forth over hot metal rollers.  I stopped mid-sentence and watched the rollers moving back and forth and I swear, I became hypnotized thinking about what the hell kind of meat could have been in that sick looking deli snack.

      From that moment on, the meeting was a waste.  So, like I said, you have to go to Starbucks.  Now, as I said at the beginning of this blog, I hated Starbucks for a while.  It wasn't because of their double standard health care plan, or because of the 'partners' who act like they aren't there to serve you, or even because of the price increases.  Hey, I'm a capitalist, I don't mind a US based company making a profit, especially when they serve a great product.  My disdain came from a simple interaction with one of the top people in the company.  In short, their behavior was unforgivable, insufferable, childish and self-indulgent.  Took me a long time to reconcile that just because a person acts like an ass, it doesn't mean everyone in the chain behind him is an asshole as well.

      So, here I sit, in a sweet wooden chair with my cup double cupped and my coffee nice and hot, just like I like it.  I think I'll finish this one in the next hour or so and come back tomorrow for another one that I will order the exact same way, one more time, real slow.... And then I realize why it's so important.  I want the AOF to be like Starbucks.  Starbucks without the complications and not the bad stuff, but the good stuff.  I want the AOF to be a place where people see the difference between what you can get at this festival and not at others.  I want the AOF to be a place where people don't have to wait, but don't mind waiting if they have to because they know if will be worth it.  In short, I want people to come back again, and then again.  It's been nine years and soon it will be ten and then fifteen and then twenty.  I hope we are able to create a brand that people will frequent and find value in.  I mean sure, you could go to another festival, but then again, if we do our job right, why would you?

       As usual, thank you for reading.  NO!!!!!  All 7 Eleven Clerks ARE NOT TERRORISTS NOR DO I MEAN TO IMPLY THAT, NOR DO I BELIEVE THAT.   The photos in this blog continue to be the exclusive property of their owners and not mine unless they are mine then keep your mouth shut. Until next time; if you're going to take the time to ask, ask nice.

D.