Here we go again. The same old bullshit rises once again. AOF Festival 2012 just ended and I'm back on the trail of the great American Film. Not someone else's but my own. It used to be that everyone wanted to pen the Great American Novel. Not me, I want to sit in that dark theater surrounded by strangers in a very familiar land and share an experience that is real, powerful, moving and surprising at every turn. In short, my Great American Movie.
From November to August I have the pleasure of watching everyone else's films, shorts, docs, animations, music videos etc., but from August through November, the tables turn and I'm the one pitching and wheeling and dealing to get something done. That's not saying that I don't complete projects throughout the rest of the season, I'm just saying that those projects are usually work for hire or someone else's piece that I happen to be working on.
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The Krikorian Theaters Home of the AOF 2012 |
This season was amazing. (A word I truly hate because every 'actor' uses it when they can't think of another way to say, 'incredible.') And when I say amazing, I mean it because to watch the dynamics of so many talented people brought together for ten days to showcase their work, their dreams, their goals and even a few failures; really is a powerful and humbling experience.
This year was a bit different though. With over twenty thousand people visiting our festival during 2012 and sold out dinners and parties, it is easy to get lost in the shuffle. Juggling sponsors, advertisers, vendors, filmmakers, writers, staff and even a few stars can be a challenge but with a great crew and support team, it isn't as hard as it used to be. In fact, I found myself with a lot more free time this season than ever before. So much in fact that I had time to just hang out with some really great people who all had a project to pitch. Except for one freakin' guy. This son of a bitch, really, I mean really pissed me off and that is so hard to do that I can't remember the last time it happened.
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| Stan Harrington - A Filmmaker who is definitely committed to his work |
We met up in the Filmmaker's Pavilion and instantly I knew I was in trouble. He had a look on his face like he just lost his mother, his father, his dog, the keys to his Prius and the hard drive that held the only backup copy of his 'bullshit' masterpiece. (His words, not mine.) Now, the problem is, I'll listen to anyone, it's my job, part of my purpose and a great way to learn. But this guy really just got to me. It seems that he wasn't happy with the audience response to his efforts. He wasn't happy that everyone didn't get it. He was disappointed that the DP didn't follow his directions and the editor didn't agree with his decisions. In a nutshell he thought that maybe he should pack it in and quit.
I asked him if he thought that the experience had any value at all? His answer was, and I'm paraphrasing here because I'm still a little foggy on all of the details this guy was throwing at me, but in short he felt the experience held no value - save for that to show him that it was probably time to quit 'trying' to be a filmmaker.
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| AOF 2012 Filmmaker Pavilion |
Immediately I began to go through the list of people who got rejection letters from us this year because we couldn't show their films. Films which were just as hard to make, just as tough to produce and required just as much funding and love as the one that proved to be an albatross and not a badge of honor to Mr. Sunshine.
After about thirty minutes of this bullshit, -not the bullshit I refer to in the first paragraph; that bullshit is comprised of meetings that will go nowhere, people who don't want to work with you but say they do, actresses who want to know who you're working with because obviously you don't qualify as talented enough as far as they are concerned, investors who have less money in their bank accounts than you do in the tiny pocket above the real pocket of your 501's and various other crap that goes along with getting something done- I've had enough of him so I say, and not in a shy way. 'What gives you the right to quit?' He didn't answer right away which was cool because I needed time to calm down a bit. Finally he asked, What do you mean? I asked him again. He said that he didn't understand the question.
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| Committed Squared |
I told him that I assumed that it wasn't his money that I was looking up at when I saw his film on the screen and he told me that it wasn't. I said that I'd bet real dollar bills that everyone besides the DP and Editor had worked as hard as they could? Again, he said I was right and wanted to know, what exactly was my point? I told him that my point was that he didn't have the right to quit. He had used other people's money, he had taken a spot from another filmmaker who would have loved the chance to see their work on the big screen, he had used the labor of people who believed in him and worst of all he hadn't committed himself to his project and his work. And if he wasn't really committed to the project and to his craft that maybe that was a reason to quit but the project itself, the people around it and the audience that watched it were no where near reasons enough to quit. He didn't have the right to quit or to lay blame unless he was blaming himself, which he wasn't but he should have because it was his story, his project and he hired that DP and he hired that Editor. The only place for blame was squarely on his shoulders, rounded as they were.
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| Shaun P. and the Crew and Cast from The Lackey - Another Super Committed Filmmaker |
Now, I find myself in October with only two months to go and it's time for me to make my movie. Time to put my commitment on the line and I have to tell you. I'm glad I had that talk with a guy who wasn't committed, who wasn't sure, who didn't know and frankly had no real concern for the time and efforts of the people who had believed in him and his work even when he didn't.
A year ago, I started this blog writing about a project that had failed. Today, I'm writing about the same project as it prepares to sail again. Still committed, still believing and still sure that I don't have the right to quit we'll move forward.
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| Giovanni Zelko and Harry Lennix - Yeah Baby! |
Is it going to be the Great American Movie? I don't know, but it sure is going to be my Great American Movie. I'll keep you posted.
Until next time, say 'Hi' to your sister for me.
D
