Here we go again. The same old bullshit rises once again. AOF Festival 2012 just ended and I'm back on the trail of the great American Film. Not someone else's but my own. It used to be that everyone wanted to pen the Great American Novel. Not me, I want to sit in that dark theater surrounded by strangers in a very familiar land and share an experience that is real, powerful, moving and surprising at every turn. In short, my Great American Movie.
From November to August I have the pleasure of watching everyone else's films, shorts, docs, animations, music videos etc., but from August through November, the tables turn and I'm the one pitching and wheeling and dealing to get something done. That's not saying that I don't complete projects throughout the rest of the season, I'm just saying that those projects are usually work for hire or someone else's piece that I happen to be working on.
 |
The Krikorian Theaters Home of the AOF 2012 |
This season was amazing. (A word I truly hate because every 'actor' uses it when they can't think of another way to say, 'incredible.') And when I say amazing, I mean it because to watch the dynamics of so many talented people brought together for ten days to showcase their work, their dreams, their goals and even a few failures; really is a powerful and humbling experience.
This year was a bit different though. With over twenty thousand people visiting our festival during 2012 and sold out dinners and parties, it is easy to get lost in the shuffle. Juggling sponsors, advertisers, vendors, filmmakers, writers, staff and even a few stars can be a challenge but with a great crew and support team, it isn't as hard as it used to be. In fact, I found myself with a lot more free time this season than ever before. So much in fact that I had time to just hang out with some really great people who all had a project to pitch. Except for one freakin' guy. This son of a bitch, really, I mean really pissed me off and that is so hard to do that I can't remember the last time it happened.
 |
| Stan Harrington - A Filmmaker who is definitely committed to his work |
We met up in the Filmmaker's Pavilion and instantly I knew I was in trouble. He had a look on his face like he just lost his mother, his father, his dog, the keys to his Prius and the hard drive that held the only backup copy of his 'bullshit' masterpiece. (His words, not mine.) Now, the problem is, I'll listen to anyone, it's my job, part of my purpose and a great way to learn. But this guy really just got to me. It seems that he wasn't happy with the audience response to his efforts. He wasn't happy that everyone didn't get it. He was disappointed that the DP didn't follow his directions and the editor didn't agree with his decisions. In a nutshell he thought that maybe he should pack it in and quit.
I asked him if he thought that the experience had any value at all? His answer was, and I'm paraphrasing here because I'm still a little foggy on all of the details this guy was throwing at me, but in short he felt the experience held no value - save for that to show him that it was probably time to quit 'trying' to be a filmmaker.
 |
| AOF 2012 Filmmaker Pavilion |
Immediately I began to go through the list of people who got rejection letters from us this year because we couldn't show their films. Films which were just as hard to make, just as tough to produce and required just as much funding and love as the one that proved to be an albatross and not a badge of honor to Mr. Sunshine.
After about thirty minutes of this bullshit, -not the bullshit I refer to in the first paragraph; that bullshit is comprised of meetings that will go nowhere, people who don't want to work with you but say they do, actresses who want to know who you're working with because obviously you don't qualify as talented enough as far as they are concerned, investors who have less money in their bank accounts than you do in the tiny pocket above the real pocket of your 501's and various other crap that goes along with getting something done- I've had enough of him so I say, and not in a shy way. 'What gives you the right to quit?' He didn't answer right away which was cool because I needed time to calm down a bit. Finally he asked, What do you mean? I asked him again. He said that he didn't understand the question.
 |
| Committed Squared |
I told him that I assumed that it wasn't his money that I was looking up at when I saw his film on the screen and he told me that it wasn't. I said that I'd bet real dollar bills that everyone besides the DP and Editor had worked as hard as they could? Again, he said I was right and wanted to know, what exactly was my point? I told him that my point was that he didn't have the right to quit. He had used other people's money, he had taken a spot from another filmmaker who would have loved the chance to see their work on the big screen, he had used the labor of people who believed in him and worst of all he hadn't committed himself to his project and his work. And if he wasn't really committed to the project and to his craft that maybe that was a reason to quit but the project itself, the people around it and the audience that watched it were no where near reasons enough to quit. He didn't have the right to quit or to lay blame unless he was blaming himself, which he wasn't but he should have because it was his story, his project and he hired that DP and he hired that Editor. The only place for blame was squarely on his shoulders, rounded as they were.
 |
| Shaun P. and the Crew and Cast from The Lackey - Another Super Committed Filmmaker |
Now, I find myself in October with only two months to go and it's time for me to make my movie. Time to put my commitment on the line and I have to tell you. I'm glad I had that talk with a guy who wasn't committed, who wasn't sure, who didn't know and frankly had no real concern for the time and efforts of the people who had believed in him and his work even when he didn't.
A year ago, I started this blog writing about a project that had failed. Today, I'm writing about the same project as it prepares to sail again. Still committed, still believing and still sure that I don't have the right to quit we'll move forward.
 |
| Giovanni Zelko and Harry Lennix - Yeah Baby! |
Is it going to be the Great American Movie? I don't know, but it sure is going to be my Great American Movie. I'll keep you posted.
Until next time, say 'Hi' to your sister for me.
D
My dear friend Del - you execute the AOF with such poise, that I KNOW your anecdote is probably one of a bunch you could relay to the rest of us 'budding filmmakers'. Sadly, I've not only heard similar talk, but watched as a few talented screenwriters, actors, producers, and directors walked out the door to new careers; abandoning their cinema dreams. I've never NOT been shocked. I had the pleasure of talking with Mardik Martin, Scorcese's co-writer of Mean Streets and Raging Bull one day in Burbank. I'll NEVER forget his words. He said to a small but eager audience, "One day, two writers bring their latest masterpieces to the head of the studio, who proceeds to trash both works. The first writer yells at the producer and storms out. The second writer whips out a notebook and writes all the criticisms the producer had. The first writer is a hobbyist; an amateur. The second man is a writer and will be successful one day." True story. I think for some people it really is about the journey and not the destination. We all struggle with a quest for success, however, success is different from person to person. Part of my definition is being able to jaunt into California every year and be a part of AOF. Others want the Academy Award. There are tons of interpretations in between. I applaud your tenacity Del. Rest assured, even if its only the two of us in that dark theater watching our works, we'll probably still enjoy every freaking minute of it. Now go break a leg. :-)
ReplyDeleteMatt F
If you don't have any fortitude and get rattled easily, you'll never make it in this business. He might not have the right to quit, but I'm sure the industry won't miss him anyway. Some good advice on your part though Del, and it was cool you tried to talk to him. Even though it fell on deaf ears then, it's a good learning experience for everyone else that cares about what they do.
ReplyDeleteQuit? What's that? Real filmmakers never quit. They just keep on editing.
ReplyDeleteMaybe those who quit are suppose to quit. Maybe those who quit are just, that quitters. Those who quit one thing probably quit most things they start because it is this character flaw, that weaves their failures together. Your advice, though spot-on,and well-intentioned was most definitely falling on ears that were not willing to hear. Maybe if he quits now there will be less people hurt and damaged because of his character flaw. Although his ears are not willing to hear or heed your advice about seeing it to the end, you did his inner circle a favor if he stops now. There will be Less collateral damage.
ReplyDeleteThe good news is
1) You are blogging again.
2) There are many people who will take your advice, your knowledge and experience to heart and use it to move forward.
I Just Did.
Winners never quit. Quitters never win.
Thanks
Nice responses, good to hear from you all. Yes, I'm blogging again and it will be a regular thing as we move forward with the new project. I'll keep everyone updated with pics and news. It's not fair for me to judge the work of others without having to show work of my own. All the best!
ReplyDeleteD